Fruits of our Labor

Dear Young Mother with 15-month old at Mass Today,



I get it. I sooooo get it. You get up, get yourself and the toddler ready, and head to Mass to start your day right. It doesn't take too long with a toddler in tow for there to be some major conflict of interest between the two of you. Phew, made it through the first reading. Maybe this morning will be different. Maybe I'll be able to stay inside the building for all of Mass. As those thoughts enter your mind, the toddler becomes demanding.



I prayed for you today. I prayed that you would stay. When you became a mother your prayer life changed dramatically. Long gone are the endless uninterupted moments of silence with Our Lord. Did you take advantage of them when you had them? I know I didn't realize how special they were until they were gone. We mothers of young children have so much to ask of Him yet it seems that we can't form two complete thoughts in a row without answering three questions, putting on socks, and filling sippy cups.



I could see your demeanor change. I know the defeated feeling. As you picked up your purse, the diaper bag, and your child who wasn't nearly as loud as you thought she was, your face dropped. Another attempt failed. I prayed that you would stay. This life of mothering has challenges during every season. Please don't look around and compare yourself to that other mom in church. The one who appears to be gracefully handling her own toddler and her little toddler antics. It's not an appearance, it is only done with grace. His grace. Is this kid ever going to get it? She will and you will survive it, though it may not seem so now.



That's the last straw. Every one is looking at us. No one can concentrate on the Mass. She's being too distracting. We're out of here. As you walked past me I tried to catch your eye, to give you a smile that I was hoping you would take as it was intended. A smile of encouragement. But you didn't look up so I just prayed that you would stay.



And stay you did. Before I knew it you came back in the doors with a new confidence. You sat down resolved. You would stay. You might not feel like you're getting anything out of Mass, but you are. He is present, you receive graces to get through the rest of the day. This season of mothering is so fleeting. Trust me, I was there. Now I look up at the alter and see my oldest serving and hope that no one else noticed that nose scratch, or the fact that he seems to be looking around and not focussing. Little do they know that he's actually catching the light off his glasses and shining it on whatever he can bring into focus. See, you will always have challenges. You will always be overly sensitive about what you perceive others are thinking about your children and your parenting. You will slowly come to realize that you are doing a great job, your intentions are right, and you know your child more than any one else. You brought yourself and your precious daughter to Mass today to teach her. You taught her consistency, you taught her patience, you taught her how to love, you taught her how to behave, but most importantly when you stayed at Mass today you taught her what the single most important part of this journey is about.